Life Lessons: The “Diplomat”

I was thinking about the time in my life when I lived for a fake peace rather than a real truth.  You see, I lived in a family full of passive aggressive and volatile people with tons of unresolved shit.  Now, I won’t go into what the drama was (it was legion), but I got so sick and tired, that I would do anything for quiet.  If it meant suppressing my real feelings, then that’s what I did.

You know what I discovered?  I was the only person coming out the loser all the time, because other folks went on with their lives.  I did all the changing and accommodating, while the family members in question continued to be who they were.  You see how that mess works?  I was the one all broken down until I induced illness.  I spent more time in the ER in 1 month than my entire life up until that point.

I sit here thinking to myself: what the hell were you smoking?  Why did you allow yourself to be at such a disadvantage and for what?  A fake sense of “happiness”.  Really?  Sometimes you have to go through things boys and girls.  Life’s lessons are hard, but necessary.  I had to suffer through years of emotional dishonesty with myself, which is the saddest thing of all.

I finally left that world behind or so I thought, but there are times when I slide back into the familiar and have to check myself.  It’s gotten a hell of a lot better with time, but you must always stay vigilant when it comes to your mental and emotional health.

I’m gonna let Badu take it from here…

Rebirth: Starting All Over Again

 

Music is going to be very much a part of this site.  I’ll be going back to the future and beyond by using some of my favorite artists to express what’s on my mind.  Anyway, do you ever have locations, places or things that you always come back to? That’s what this site represents to me.  No matter how many new ideas I come up with, I always come back to Medusa Speaks.   I guess because this spot was born of inspiration and a belief that Medusa represents a voice – my voice in a way that no other space that I’ve created has.

It’s good to be back.  I was on the train coming home and thinking about Fall.  It has always been my favorite time of year.  Fashion comes to mind immediately and that sense of renewal.  It’s a time for reflection in ways that are positive.  I’m not talking about beating up on yourself and finding yourself wanting.  What I am talking about is being able to recreate you.  I believe in the mythology of the Phoenix.  I believe that we rise from the ashes and are reborn.  I’ve done this many times and sometimes the results have been all out fuckery, but that’s neither here nor there. 

The point is, I see another year on this great ball of stress we call Earth, as a blessing and a chance to be an even more fabulous version of me.  Why Medusa Speaks?  Well contrary to popular mythology, my girl was actually a Talisman used in ancient times to ward off evil.  She was a powerful symbol of strength and born of terror, not created by it.  Now run and tell that!  So, here goes another round.

Cheers!